Buffer Negative Thoughts with Positive Self Talk and Improve Your Self Confidence: Page 2

Negative thoughts impede self confidence and progress but by developing consistent positive self talk practices, you can easily minimize their effects and make great headway in all you strive to achieve.

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Continuation of the Categories of Negative Thoughts and Distortions:

5. Labeling:

This occurs when you label yourself with a name or statement that describes who you are. The problem occurs when they are ‘limiting’ as beliefs often do.

I am ordinary.
I am stupid.

The benefit of being aware that you label yourself, allows you, with some work, to identify current beliefs and labels and change them to your ideal and desired outcomes. Turn your negative thoughts and labels into improved self confidence and success with positive self talk. Anyone can do it!

6. And they all lived happily ever after.

Does everything need to be perfect in your life before you experience happiness? Or do the inconsistencies and absent successes loom a negative cloud over the happiness you do have?

Thoughts like:
'That shouldn’t happen to me.’
'That’s unfair.’
'Why can’t I have all I want without having to give something up?’

No one is exempt from issues and imperfections. With expectations of perfection, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Try accepting that ‘imperfect’ outcomes exist. Roll with the situation and you may end up pleasantly surprised by something else you weren’t expecting when you started.

Every time you manage to successfully weather any situation, regardless of the outcome, the realization that blessings frequently exist when we welcome the unexpected. These situations are rarely as bad as we imagine. Our negative thoughts often will mask the potential of the situation because our natural tendency to worry.

Enjoy both the unexpected as well as what is predictable. It's all perfect. Use positive self talk to counteract your nay-saying tendencies. Use this as you notice you are falling into the hole of doubt when your situation doesn't appear as the perfect picture you'd hoped for originally.

7. Blaming other people and events:

When you say,

“If only they didn’t’ change the process.”

“I just can’t work with him.”
“She makes me react negatively around her every time. Nothing good can come from forcing us to work together.”

As you blame others in these situations, you place yourself into the role of a victim. A victim is helpless and views a situation as though they can’t do anything about it. Essentially, they don’t believe they have a ‘circle of influence’; one which they can focus on their actions and feelings, instead of those of others.

Take responsibility for your role. Surrender yourself to the outcome, especially one which includes others because they have their own roles and responsibilities. Focus on your ‘circle of influence’. That includes those tasks, actions and reactions that you can influence and perform.

When you are capable of this, the outcome ‘Is What It Is’ and your attachment to it being exactly as expected does not cause undue stress. As you acknowledge your role and take responsibility in the reality of life, you will realize all your personal power. The result is improved self confidence and peace of mind. If you do all you are capable of then there is nothing more you need to worry about and the weight of your negative thoughts lightens substantially.

The more you practice this, the less you need to make excuses and blame others for the variations in outcomes you didn’t think of.

Now that’s power!

8. It’s All or Nothing! Those who think in this manner think only in terms of black and white. There is no gray. When in actuality, the world is made up of gray.


'Only winning matters’
'Second place is the first loser.’
'Success only occurs when you win.’
'Anything less than an ‘A’ in history is failure.’

You must accept that in life there are rarely successes and failures with large defining lines drawn between them. Success occurs as you take the steps to participate and achieve growth in this journey; not just the destination. Even when you don’t perform to your highest standards is it rare that succeeding means you get 100% and failing results in absolutely nothing.

These kinds of expectations even when you are ‘winning’ are hard to maintain because of the ever changing conditions of the ‘game’ and players involved.

When thinking this way you are setting yourself up for failure. “Why must you always be perfect?” Learn to allow yourself to reap the rewards when you give 100%, not just achieve 100%. Remember that 100% effort is different on any given day considering all manner of factors like your amount of sleep, daily attitude, knowledge and experience with the skills, etc.

Are you beginning to see the bigger picture? Perfection is often just a definition of an ultimate ideal and not reality itself. Put yourself in the real world and enjoy success regularly!

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